I did the right thing this time.
I waited, well technically and that’s what matters. He was hard to resist, not that he was trying or pushy.
I thought I would get a gold star not a sad Sunday afternoon feeling numb, worthless and empty. Left mere moments after to clean himself up and not return.
I’m hopeful it had nothing to do with me but I have unfortunately taken it very personally.
Why is it always so hard?
I went on a date on Wednesday night. He was lovely and easy to talk to. We got a drink, then he suggested dinner and he drove me home. He added me on Facebook shortly after and asked me out last night. Except by out it ended up being in at his place. I said let’s go out and do something fun but in the end he just wanted to go to his place. The predictable thing happened.
I really thought this one has keeper qualities. I know I could’ve left and not slept with him but I kind of resigned myself to the fact that’s all he was interested in.
What a shame. My heart hurts a little from this one.
So the dude from the last post didn’t text me the following week as he said he would. I messaged him and eventually we got onto that he’d be going to a gig with some friends. To me it was a very “I’m just not that into you” response. My housemates said maybe that’s how he sees a 2nd date going and other excuses but I know in my gut, if he wanted to see me, he’d have made it happen.
Due to a terrible choice in showing the wrong person at work some attention my self confidence hit an all time low on the night of the gig.
After being pursuaded by my friend to go to see the band (she and her husband came with me). I awkwardly avoided eye contact and never spoke to the guy and went home feeling really embarrassed and ashamed.
I felt like this dude was too cool for me and if he wanted to see me, he’d have made it happen. I did not feel worthy of him.
So long story short I’ve acted like a bloody weirdo and am home before 11 on a Friday night feeling very unlovable and thinking I need a break from dating for a while. Dear god, I fucked it!
So I went on a first date last night. I had only been speaking to this guy on Tinder over the weekend. Very minimal chat but I liked what I saw, I asked him out and he said let’s get the drink the next night.
I was a bit anxious when I got to the pub for said date because his photos were pretty inconsistent on Tinder, hair lengths and facial hair were very different in each picture. I felt his first profile picture had very strong Kurt Cobain vibes 6 weeks before he died (I was into that) so I wasn’t 100% sure who I was looking for.
I had pretty low expectations (for reasons unknown) but they were well and truely met. I just really enjoyed talking to him, it was easy. I did the cardinal sin of talking about past lovers on a first date but talking about past experiences is fun.
This gentleman was well and truely far cooler than I. He seemed to have a lot of cool, intense and interesting things happen in his life which I’m sure I just touched the surface of. I on the other hand, am not cool and will try to hide said fact for as long as possible!
We talked until the pub staff turned the lights on and wanted to go home. At the end he said let’s catch up next week and I hope we do.
So I went on a date on a public holiday. The guy was from Melbourne but after a truely horrible experience with my ex this weekend I was happy to go out with anyone even if there was no long term prospects.
The guy was cute but a bit nerdier than his tinder photos indicated. The first hour was easy to talk. The guy was driving so only had one drink which I think didn’t help for a long night
I decided to have another drink. When I came back he wouldn’t stop talking about The Fast and The Furious franchise. It was weird. I said that I hadn’t seen any which also didn’t help. I don’t care about The Rock I’m affraid.
The bar staff come over and told us that they needed the table in an hour, I said we’d go and he offered us a shot and we were like “don’t worry about it.” I used this time to escape the ongoing Vin Diesel talk and get the hell out of there. The bar dude came back with two shots. My date said no cause he was driving, a tipsy table next to us started egging me on so I had two shots and walked home alone, a bit tipsy and my heart in a lot of pain because of another man.