What’s love got to do, got to do with it? 

I went on a date on Wednesday night. He was lovely and easy to talk to. We got a drink, then he suggested dinner and he drove me home. He added me on Facebook shortly after and asked me out last night. Except by out it ended up being in at his place. I said let’s go out and do something fun but in the end he just wanted to go to his place. The predictable thing happened. 

I really thought this one has keeper qualities. I know I could’ve left and not slept with him but I kind of resigned myself to the fact that’s all he was interested in. 

What a shame. My heart hurts a little from this one. 

Welp, I fucked up

So the dude from the last post didn’t text me the following week as he said he would. I messaged him and eventually we got onto that he’d be going to a gig with some friends. To me it was a very “I’m just not that into you” response. My housemates said maybe that’s how he sees a 2nd date going and other excuses but I know in my gut, if he wanted to see me, he’d have made it happen. 

Due to a terrible choice in showing the wrong person at work some attention my self confidence hit an all time low on the night of the gig. 

After being pursuaded by my friend to go to see the band (she and her husband came with me). I awkwardly avoided eye contact and never spoke to the guy and went home feeling really embarrassed and ashamed. 

I felt like this dude was too cool for me and if he wanted to see me, he’d have made it happen. I did not feel worthy of him. 

So long story short I’ve acted like a bloody weirdo and am home before 11 on a Friday night feeling very unlovable and thinking I need a break from dating for a while. Dear god, I fucked it! 

The Terrible Two’s

So last night, just over a week after I went on my first date with this guy, I went on date number two. The communication leading up to  the date was not great on his behalf, he didn’t respond for days at a time on the dating app so I wasn’t sure what exactly was happening but we got there in the end.

We went to the movies at a place where I went with my ex. I remember the date with my ex  was about date 4 and I had already started to full down the lust trap so I was in a very different place.

The guy rocked up to the movies about 5 minutes before it started which was fine but he was flustered and said something about the traffic. Then when we went to pay for the tickets I volunteered to pay as he bought the drinks on the first date. Though my $6 champagne was a bit more of a bargain then the $22.00 movie tickets.

We sat down and we chatted a bit but it’s hard in a room full of people and then the previews started to play and it was all over. We saw Kong Skull Island, whilst he suggested the film, I didn’t hold it against him but it was genuinely one of the worst films I had ever seen which I thought would be a good conversation starter for after the movie but he felt the need to defend it. We walked down the street and it was a bit awkward, conversation wasn’t flowing so I asked him to drop me home, he seemed anxious “how far away is it?” He said he hadn’t been in the city for a long time. I live and work in the CBD so that perplexes me a bit but also I live in one of the smallest CBD’s in Australia, it really isn’t intimidating (well I sure as shit don’t think so). As we drove home I felt like the date had turned into an interview, me asking him questions, he in turn not really asking me any.

When he dropped me home he didn’t park properly in a park so I just jumped out with neither of us seeming particularly happy.

If he asked me on another date I would probably go for the sake of this experiment but I wouldn’t be looking forward to it.

I feel like I’m getting over my ex much quicker now but it’s so hard for me not to compare our second date. We spent all day together, there were no awkward pauses and we stayed up all night laughing, chatting and fucking. That was the best date of my life. Must try and stop reminiscing about it and stop comparing. Fingers crossed.