Welp, I fucked up

So the dude from the last post didn’t text me the following week as he said he would. I messaged him and eventually we got onto that he’d be going to a gig with some friends. To me it was a very “I’m just not that into you” response. My housemates said maybe that’s how he sees a 2nd date going and other excuses but I know in my gut, if he wanted to see me, he’d have made it happen. 

Due to a terrible choice in showing the wrong person at work some attention my self confidence hit an all time low on the night of the gig. 

After being pursuaded by my friend to go to see the band (she and her husband came with me). I awkwardly avoided eye contact and never spoke to the guy and went home feeling really embarrassed and ashamed. 

I felt like this dude was too cool for me and if he wanted to see me, he’d have made it happen. I did not feel worthy of him. 

So long story short I’ve acted like a bloody weirdo and am home before 11 on a Friday night feeling very unlovable and thinking I need a break from dating for a while. Dear god, I fucked it! 

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