Welp, I fucked up

So the dude from the last post didn’t text me the following week as he said he would. I messaged him and eventually we got onto that he’d be going to a gig with some friends. To me it was a very “I’m just not that into you” response. My housemates said maybe that’s how he sees a 2nd date going and other excuses but I know in my gut, if he wanted to see me, he’d have made it happen. 

Due to a terrible choice in showing the wrong person at work some attention my self confidence hit an all time low on the night of the gig. 

After being pursuaded by my friend to go to see the band (she and her husband came with me). I awkwardly avoided eye contact and never spoke to the guy and went home feeling really embarrassed and ashamed. 

I felt like this dude was too cool for me and if he wanted to see me, he’d have made it happen. I did not feel worthy of him. 

So long story short I’ve acted like a bloody weirdo and am home before 11 on a Friday night feeling very unlovable and thinking I need a break from dating for a while. Dear god, I fucked it! 

You’re as cool as ice

So I went on a first date last night. I had only been speaking to this guy on Tinder over the weekend. Very minimal chat but I liked what I saw, I asked him out and he said let’s get the drink the next night. 

I was a bit anxious when I got to the pub for said date because his photos were pretty inconsistent on Tinder, hair lengths and facial hair were very different in each picture. I felt his first profile picture had very strong Kurt Cobain vibes 6 weeks before he died (I was into that) so I wasn’t 100% sure who I was looking for.

I had pretty low expectations (for reasons unknown) but they were well and truely met. I just really enjoyed talking to him, it was easy. I did the cardinal sin of talking about past lovers on a first date but talking about past experiences is fun. 

This gentleman was well and truely far cooler than I. He seemed to have a lot of cool, intense and interesting things happen in his life which I’m sure I just touched the surface of. I on the other hand, am not cool and will try to hide said fact for as long as possible!

We talked until the pub staff turned the lights on and wanted to go home. At the end he said let’s catch up next week and I hope we do.